Snip Snip Snip

You set to work, like a painter at an easel, or a cellist with his instrument—and I the work of art.

Hours pass, me posing, both of us reading

The world slipping by in an endless tunnel of

Your walls and my heart.

This large and looming circle of love with your name written on it,

And the minuscule square you expect me to work with.

A snip snip snip here,

And a snip snip snip there.

I cut down my circle of love to fit inside the square.

The changes are gradual, but the

Possibilities are endless.

I close my eyes in an effort to stem

The terrifying thought that I am less than a person

To you.

Each limb has been redrawn on drafting sheets, with pattern pieces

Cut to fit my oddly shaped person.

And on the assembly line I go—

You charge it up,

Cutting me out as I move through the stages of production.

Snip snip snip here.

Snip snip snip there.

One night I fall asleep with your words

Painted on the inside of my eyes

And I awake with the sun,

Unblinking—

Because my eyes no longer blink.

They’re just open.

Painted bright and painted happy

On the flat face of a paper doll

Arms not meant to move

And heart not meant to beat

And blood not meant to flow

And eyes not meant to cry

And a smile as permanent as

A mountain.

I can feel the flutter of the paper birds as their wings move me up

And up and up and up.

Towards the sun where my new wings will melt

And the ocean will catch my gently

Dropping paper

Body.

Snip snip snip

Snip snip snip.

I was too human for you.