I Just Can't-Haiku Edition

The Real Reason I’m Late for Work

Late for work-make toast.

But the toaster is not on—

I’m late anyway

Serving Sizes Actually Mean Something?

I’m cooking for one—

So why do I have so much

Leftover pasta?

Losing my Social Security Card Part I

You mean I have to

Keep all of my documents

In some sort of safe place?

Losing my Social Security Card Part II

If I lose my card

I can’t just ask mom and dad

To get a new one?

When Mom isn’t Cleaning Up After You

No matter how clean

We keep this place, it always

Seems to get dirty

If I Want a Balanced Meal

I think I’m getting

The hang of this cooking thing—

But I still burn rice.

When You’re Sick with da Ebola

Every last sniffle

Means that I’m dying—so who

Is making me soup?