Ginger

The ceiling above my bed

Was cracked the night we met

By the storm that turned this

House onto an x axis.

I couldn’t stop staring,

Freckle-counting and still caring

For the constellation-faced

Boy with impeccable taste.

I piled my books up high from the floor,

Fortress walls, like I’d always done before.

Do you remember laying like stars

On the concrete, comparing our scars?

I remember singing Billie Holiday

Classics, and dreaming one day

We’d fall asleep on each other

The way you always said we would.

We Need to Talk about "The Darkling"

Photo cred: wendyoghurt 

I've been there before. Back when I first read Twilight, just like every other fourteen year old girl. I ended up being Team Jacob. But at first, I was, without a doubt, Team Edward. It was sexy how he told her forcefully that he loved her, and that he wanted to keep her safe at all times. Stalked her, watched her at night. Followed her down a dark alley only to miraculously save her from the rapists. I mean, we all know it's a contemporary paranormal romance, so rationally, we all realize that's actually unbelievably creepy in real life. Right? 

Maybe. 

But the whole, bad boy who loves you theme is maybe not so easy to shake. Think of the Vampire Diaries, where girls had to decide between Stefan and Damon Salvatore, one of whom enjoys killing his victims.

Or in The 100, when tons of fans ship Bellarke, despite the fact that Bellamy is a morally gray ant/protagonist who frequently treats people as dispensable. (I'm only on the first season, but the shipping is a little mind-blowing right now. He's truly horrible.)

But I think the worst one is The Darkling. And yes, I get the appeal. He's dark, he's mysterious, he's obviously into Alina, who seems more than willing to accept his attention. (Mind you, it's been about three months since I read the books and I don't have them in front of me, so apologies for anything that isn't perfectly accurate.) And, there's the fact that he seems to really, truly understand Alina, the way that no one else does. Never mind the fact that he willingly murders multiple people to further his plans. Never mind the fact that he slaughters her friends and refuses to see reason. None of that matters. Because he's the sexy, dark bad boy, and he's the one who taps into the passion that Alina never knew she had. 

I won't deny it's a little bit sexy, the way he speaks to her. In an emotionally fraught moment he actually says to her "Fine, make me your villain", and that is easily one of the sexiest lines I've heard in all of literature. Taken out of context, that is. In context I'm pretty sure he's just a zealot for his cause who believes that Alina is his perfect, powerful, counterpart. 

I know that Mal might be a little bit boring at times. And he's also the guy who "holds her back", for lack of better phrase here. But he's the guy who's known her since they were kids. The guy who was forced to grow over the course of the books. The guy who saw that she had to sacrifice him for a cause he wasn't completely sure of himself, and walked into that fire for her. Meanwhile, The Darkling is a brooding, angry, murderous man-child who literally uses every power he has to manipulate her. The Darkling makes her selfish and manipulative, and power-hungry, while Mal makes her a better, calmer, kinder person. 

If we're being real here, the man who was most perfect for Alina was Nikolai, but only because her personality took a nose-dive when she got so powerful. 

And if we're digging into the text even more, Alina was clearly not supposed to end up with The Darkling, because he is representative of the seduction of power. He's not really a person here. He's Alina's desire to take the power that is being presented to her, and using it to her own advantage, just the way The Darkling does. And by eventually choosing Mal, she's not really choosing Mal. She's choosing to be a hero, a normal person who sacrifices everything she loves for what she knows is right, even if it means giving up the power that has taken such a strong hold on her. 

The truth is, I won't judge you angrily for shipping a main character with a murderous psychopath, or a stalker. I actually don't really care who you ship, or which characters you like. That's up to you. And I sometimes do it too. We all do! So, friends, keep on shipping, keep on reading, and don't date murderous psychopaths in real life. 

Love,

Sarai

Shop the Grisha trilogy here

Blind Rabbit Books is a Go!

It's LIVE! I've started a book vlog and I'm crazy excited to talk books with everyone! Click, take a look, like it, share it, comment! I want to hear from everyone!

Love,

Sarai 

Books for the Halloween Spirit

If you're anything like me, you want to read something a little spookier during the fall season. But if you're like me, you also don't always know where to start. I'm a total baby about scary movies, and although I'm a little bit better with books I'm still someone who has to stay far away from anything too spooky, too bloody, too terrifying. A little bit is fine. But too much will keep me up at night. That doesn't stop me from enjoying the necessity of the season--a book that sets my heart racing while I cuddle up on the couch. I've explored different types of books over the years, for this purpose, and I've found some winners for those of us who have delicate sensibilities. I hope you find at least one of these books to give you that sense of dread we all want to feel this time of year (while being able to safely make hot chocolate if we want). 

My picks:

We Have Always Lived in the Castle--Shirley Jackson

If you've read any Jackson before, you know she's not scared of delving into the most horrifying and eerie parts of humanity. Just as dark and shocking as her short story "The Lottery" but much creepier, and with a foreboding atmosphere. It's quite short so I read it in one sitting. I could not stop talking about it right after, and I told my husband every detail of the plot at two in the morning because I was so hung up on it. It might not scare you, but it will creep you out. 

The Historian--Elizabeth Kostova

I first tried to read this in middle school, but it is massive, especially when you're in eighth grade. Instead of finishing it I forgot about it for years and then one day decided to buy it and finally finish it. And I'm immensely happy that I did. Obviously it's a historical fiction, but the history is rich, and full, and spans years and years of research and storytelling. It deals with Vlad the Impaler, my favorite historical villain/hero (depends who you ask), and a young girl who wants to find her family at all costs. If that's not enough, Vlad the Impaler is the original inspiration for Count Dracula. But this is not a story about Twilight vampires. The villains of a story that explores the history of the most famous vampire of all time are not sparkly, nor are they friendly. 

And Then There Were None--Agatha Christie

The queen of mystery and suspense! No Halloween is complete without some Agatha Christie to keep you guessing. I loved this book so much. Ten people, all with secrets too horrific to tell, are stranded on a mysterious island until the storm passes. And interestingly enough, no one seems to know who invited them all. A thriller, and a perfectly woven mystery, it's impossible to put down and keeps you hooked until the last second when you think you've figured it out. But you haven't, I promise. 

Since Halloween is soon to be over, I'll leave it at this for now. In the meantime, I'll come up with some cozy fall reads that don't have to do with things that go bump in the night. Until then, say hi to the monsters under the bed for me. 

Love,

Sarai

Towards the Sun

I still recall being

A paper doll

In his unsteady hands.

I watched with horror as my sweet wax wings

Melted in the sharp, white sun

Before I could even fly.

And that the feathers

Slowly walked down from the sky

To wait for me.

But as I took the last few steps

My feet went missing

And I bumped my way down

Into the yawping mouth below.

In the Bread Aisle

I have a short list of words—

Words I would whisper out into

The deepdeepdeep night

With the bigbigbig trees—

The trees that I think are all

About sex.

An arrangement of letters

Wrapped into one of those billions

Of words

That I haven’t ever said to you before.

I would touch your ear again,

Feeling the

Peach fuzz that

Covers it completely. Feeling your

Heart

Beat

Through the thin fabric of your pajamas

Across your broad ribcage.

I can feel each coil of muscle

Where it attaches

To each piece of bone.

But who watched you move silently,

Violently,

Achingly aware of your proximities.

Stiffly grasping, like a broken-backed bird.

All the while silently sobbing—

But refusing to wake

The sleeping world?

Me.

So I’ll stare at the intrusive glow of

My phone screen,

The blue reaching back into my

Orbital Fenestra,

Where it can’t hurt anyone.

I will turn it off

And go to sleep. 

City Sounds

I wake and climb up on the roof above

To look out over all the Portland sky.

I close my eyes and let the wind become

Six miles per hour of new words to write.

The sounds of horns and bike wheels all rise up—

Distracting from the words I cannot think.

I wish just once

To close my eyes

And hear a mellow loon call.

But I will settle for the sound of trains.