April Books Ranked!

A Court of Mist and Fury

A Court of Wings and Ruin

Heart of Iron

Annihilation

Geekerella

The Heart’s Invisible Furies

Shiver

Wonder Woman: Warbringer

Wires and Nerve

The Lost World

Daughter of the Siren Queen

Fairest

Every Last Lie

My April Read Books Rating! The one at the top is my highest rated, and the one at the bottom is my lowest. My ratings might be a bit surprising, considering I have some serious heart eyes for Wonder Woman, or because I gave the first ACOTAR book such a low rating. So lemme explain these a bit:

First, I’ll start with “Every Last Lie” by Mary Kubica. Although this is by no means a crappy book, I really only read it because I won it and because I had nothing else to read during a hair appointment. That being said, many aspects of it had me on the edge of my seat. However, I’ve read better thrillers and I thought the ending was cliche and kind of tired.

Fairest was not at all what I expected. It wasn’t really a real novel, obviously, so there was less of a narrative arc, and more just backstory. That’s really the reason it can’t be rated higher. I did genuinely enjoy this one. 

DotSQ might be an upset as well--don’t get me wrong. I love Tricia Levenseller. I think

she’s a talented storyteller and a great person who I now consider a friend. However, this book just didn’t stack up when compared with some of the other stuff I read this month. It’s hard to beat high fae sex, okay? This novel, while fun, felt rushed (and I know there was explanation for that, but that’s not an excuse), and seemed a little more forced. This didn't stop me from reading it in practically one sitting though, so it's nothing to scoff at.

The Lost World. Crichton isn’t known for his incredible writing, but I will say, I can’t turn down a good dinosaur thriller. This one had me excited, and I always love the philosophical aspects of his approach to science. But like I said, occasionally the writing isn’t up to snuff for me.

Wires and Nerve is the first graphic novel I’ve ever read, and I thought it was absolutely delightful. I’ll read anything Marissa Meyer does, and I loved revisiting the characters here. However, it wasn’t really anything all that original, but it was really fun.

Wonder Woman: Warbringer. Okay, mixed feelings about this one. I love WW with my pathetic fangirl heart, and Leigh Bardugo is my queen. But, like some of her books, I felt it took me a while to get into this one. Of course, once I got into it, I was hooked on the story. She’s an excellent character writer, but it never detracts from her excellent skill with story.

Shiver. This was a reread for me, which is a rarity. But I needed some Maggie Stiefvater in my life, and I needed it immediately. I do love this book, but I’m aware that it has serious flaws. It’s one of her earlier books, and it has this Twilighty feel to it, but in my opinion the much healthier relationship helps a lot. Plus she writes characters like no one else.

The Heart’s Invisible Furies was a hard one to rate. On the one hand, the first two hundred pages or so, minus the first fifty about Cyril’s mother, were so boring and strange I couldn’t quite get through them. I wanted to gag a little at the mind of a seven year old or fifteen year old on sex. No thanks. I don’t mind when characters have sex. But I don’t want to read pages of descriptions of that being all he thinks of. Nonetheless, the story picked up quite a bit around page 250, and I found myself absolutely enamored with Cyril and his life. I even cried at the end.

Geekerella appeals so hard to the fangirl in me. I could read sweet, adorable geek girl books any day. Ashley Poston’s writing improved in Heart of Iron, but I think it’s easier to forgive a book it’s so-so writing when the writing is still compulsively readable.

Annihilation was a mind-bending sci-fi thriller that took me to a very strange and contemplative place. I love love loved this book, and it kind of blew my mind and stretched my brain. I think fans of Poe and science fiction will love this, so if that’s your thing, read it. If not, the prose style might get tedious. It did a little bit for me.

Heart of Iron. Be still my history nerd heart. Heart of Iron combines Anastasia with space, and it works so well for me. I love the stars and the planets, and I love royal mysteries. Like I said, this is better than Poston’s Geekerella in terms of writing, although it took me about fifty pages to decide I liked this one. Once I got hooked though I was in for the long haul. Can’t wait for the sequel.

ACOWAR. Although this might be other people’s favorite of the books, I think I got a little bit stressed during certain scenes. I don’t enjoy books about war, so that might be why I had a hard time with some of the scenes here. But that was maybe my only complaint, except that I wanted so much more. Also though, that Suriel scene is burned into my brain and heart and I cried like a baby.

ACOMAF takes the cake here, friends. I loved every moment of this epic, epic romance. I expected so much less, honestly. I loved the Feyre Rhys fun, the sex, the love, the romance, the adventure. I love this book not only because it drastically changed my opinion about Sarah J. Maas, but because it felt so real. The slow-bloom of romance is something I die for. I loved meeting the characters, seeing Feyre’s inner strength, and going on this adventure with characters I now love so much.

There you have it, friends. I can’t wait to do this again next month!

A Court of Frost and Starlight Predictions

Like everybody else in the book world, I read and finished “A Court of Frost and Starlight” yesterday, and I don’t think I’m alone in wanting the next book to be out already. 2019 is really far away, and as much as I like living in the present, I wish 2019 would hurry up already. I remarked on this yesterday when I was deciding which books I plan on buying, which I plan on borrowing from the library, and I realized I was planning books I would want to buy in January 2019, which just feels insane. (Such as, The Wicked King, and King of Scars) But, such is the life of a book worm.

I really enjoyed it ACOFAS, so I’m going to write a quick spoiler-free review of the book, as well as put some of my predictions and ideas out there for what might happen in the future of this series.

By way of review: It’s possible other people were expecting more from this book, but it was exactly what I wanted and expected it to be. I gave it a four star review, because it wasn’t groundbreaking enough to deserve five stars. Nonetheless, I appreciated that it was more of a “slice of life” book, than it was a real book. I didn’t want or need a true adventure in this book, I just wanted to see the characters again and get a glimpse of where the story was going. I loved the varying POVs, the clues we got into the feelings and personalities of characters that we normally don’t get as much information on. I love Feyre and Rhysand, don’t get me wrong. But it’s not like there’s much more to tell about their stories. Sure, they’ll have new adventures, and they’ll likely start a family, but they’ve already gone through so much and experienced so many things together, it just doesn’t feel like there’s a need for another story centered on them. I am, however, fascinated by the rest of their little family and the stories they still have to tell. I loved that this book hinted at so many new storylines, although I wish it had been a little more clear the direction it was going. The sneak peek of the next book was seriously exciting though. If you haven’t, be sure to read that sneak peek. I have a feeling a few members of the fandom will be ecstatic when they read it. We’re certainly in for a wild ride.

And now, predictions for the next bit of the series!

Credit: @maggiepalmiter Instagram 

1. I think Mor will be confronted with her sexuality, and that this will be the first time the person with the gift for truth will actually have to tell the truth. I feel genuine apprehension for the moment that Mor and Azriel have to have that conversation. He’s loving and kind, but I can only imagine the hurt he will feel knowing she purposefully flaunted men in his face for years rather than telling him she wasn’t interested. I hope we get to see some conclusion to the Mor/Eris storyline too. Her father too, although I’d be happiest if he just died.
   
   

   

   Credit: @artofviccolatte

   
   
2. Cassian, in my opinion, has the deepest heart and the most sensitive soul. He plays tough, but he’s a softy down deep. Remember, he and Feyre were the quickest to become true friends when she joined their inner circle. We get some clues about the background of some of his deep-seated beliefs in this book, which is nice, and it opened up a lot of possibilities for what we will see in future books for him. My hope is that future storylines for him aren’t focused just on Nesta and their potential. I want to see some growth in him--I want to see him learn to trust and open up with people, especially his friends. I want to see him acknowledge the depth of his feelings. I don’t even know if I want him and Nesta together, because she can be a bit tough to love for me.
   
   

   

   Credit: ak-draws.tumblr.com

   
   
3. I have a feeling, based on some clues from the book and the sneak peek, that we’re going to learn a lot about Nesta in these next few books. I have mixed feelings about this. I like seeing the mental struggle she goes through, because she’s not nearly as icy as she believes. But for someone who has so many people who love her, she’s a bit of a pill, in my opinion. I think at the moment, even if I don’t love her as much as I love other people in the series, I would enjoy a series about her if only to see her humbled a bit. I look forward to the continuation with her of what we see in the sneak peek.
   
   

   

   Credit: unknown 

   
   
4. Lucien is a character I love with my autumn-loving heart, so I do hope I get some of him in the future. I think eventually he will make up with Tamlin, but it won’t be the same. I think through his new friendships he will find the confidence to declare his independence and become a stronger person. I love that he’s kind of the unspoken of victim. That he went through so much, and his realization of how different life can be is just beginning. He’s finally learning who he is without Tamlin, and that’s a journey I think we’ll get lots of in the next books. I can’t decide if I love him with Elain, or if I love Azriel and Elain, so let’s not talk about this yet.

There is obviously a lot more to be predicted, so I can’t really give an exhaustive list of what I think might happen. But I really hope we just get more and more of my favorite high fae.

The Hero Only Some of Us Deserve

            In a recent, in-bed, just-woke-up, Facebook browse, I read an update from a family friend about Wonder Woman. He and his wife had just watched it for a second time. He loved it, maybe even more the second time around. I drank it up—I reveled in the knowledge that men were enjoying Wonder Woman as a superhero movie. His assessment included no caveats—it was not good for a women’s film; it was just good. It felt like a victory every time a man I knew praised the film, as if the proof I’d long been waiting for was in front of my eyes—Wonder Woman was a movie that could be enjoyed by all people, regardless of gender.

            But then I read the comments on his status, and they told a different, disturbing narrative. Sprinkled among the comments that were genuinely discussing the film, multiple people sidestepped the conversation by accusing him of “having a crush on Gal” or asking “does your wife know about your crush?”

            His replies were good-natured. He responded that both he and his wife had crushes on her—there would have been no use denying it, either way. And she’s a good woman to have a crush on. She’s powerful, talented, stunning, and as Wonder Woman she portrays all that is good in the world.

But all of that is beside the point. Her crushability isn’t her purpose. She was the protagonist of a major superhero film, one meant to tug at heartstrings and wow with the promised sequences of action and intensity, while reminding us of a hero’s inherent humanity. She was just like Captain America, in his origin story. She was like Thor, in his. The list goes on. She was a hero. Plain and simple.

            My childhood was a scattered haze of books, late night movies with my mom, skinned knees, and wishing I was older. I enjoyed the freeing ignorance that my parents cultivated—as a kid I had no idea that being a woman was seen by some as a defect. Raised to believe I could be anything I wanted, I didn’t understand what people meant when they talked about sexism. I believed I was invincible, because I’d been taught that I was. My parents were my teachers, and my subjects were the female heroes and role models I spent my days and nights learning about.

            Among Laura Ingalls Wilder, Nora Ephron, Meg Ryan, and Ann M. Martin, there was Diana Prince. Her red and blue outfit, her lasso of truth, her invisible airplane—these were the accoutrements of my childhood dreams. I craved her abilities, and although I knew I was nowhere near magical, I learned the most important lesson of all—her true power was her love of justice. Unlike other superheroes I occasionally watched, Wonder Woman’s stories weren’t about beating up baddies—she wasn’t interested in showing off a million cool stunts while maintaining her effortless hair. She genuinely wanted to make the world a better place. And I loved her for that.

           

            How many times has a man or a woman expressed excitement or praise over a new Marvel film in which Chris Evans plays the central character? Probably a lot. How many times has a woman been mocked for watching an Avengers movie because she thinks Captain America is hot? It’s bound to happen once in a while, but my guess is that it’s not all that common. It’s a superhero movie, and the default is male, and it is assumed to be watchable by anybody.

            I have never been asked if I only watched Thor for the eye candy. It is assumed that I, like all other people, can enjoy the movies with the beautiful men because they are movies, not because of the giant biceps or the washboard abs.

            Those Facebook comments were not the first time I’ve encountered this strange attitude towards Wonder Woman. Snide comments from men to other men of “you just liked it because she’s hot,” or the oft overheard “I’d watch anything with Gal. Have you seen her?” And on and on, ignoring cinematic merit in favor of her stunning figure. They are not lauding the character for being a great role model, or praising Gal for the fact that she shot an entire action sequence while five months pregnant, and still nailed it. She is hot—this is the only important factor.

            Even worse are the comments from both men and women to women, accusing them of only liking the movie because the main character is a woman—an accusation rarely lobbed at men for watching the Bourne films, or virtually any other action film ever. Why? Because the default has always been male. We need no special reason to watch the default.

                      

            I think I spun in a million circles trying to become Diana Prince. Around and around I went, landing back at the same spot over and over, and where I stopped I definitely knew. I figured if I made enough circles, I’d get there eventually. The same logic told me that if I held my breath and went underwater in the bathtub I’d eventually become a mermaid just like Ariel.

I never accomplished the transformation. I never found myself with bulletproof bracelets, or the spangled outfit, decorated and ready for war. My hair was messy, not coiffed. My legs were chubby and covered with the bruises and cuts that are badges of childhood summers.

            I was not suddenly a superhero in a costume, nor a tall, fierce woman, ready to make a mark on mankind, ready to change the world.

            But this was only one of many rude awakenings. My second was in college, when I began to see that underneath the layers of confidence and power that had been pasted onto my skin, others still saw a woman in a man’s world.

            The third was when men I dated, men I trusted, treated me like a physical filler for their hopes and dreams, and their desires too.

            I had to build new armor. I had to spin in new circles. I had to make my own lasso of truth and my own invisible airplane. I constructed them using words, using craft, using art, using my voice, using the dredges of confidence that I’d been born to own.

            I was never Diana Prince. I never had the gadgets or the uniform. But maybe, I could be a superhero in my own way.

            It isn’t just women who clutch their tickets happily in sticky theater seats, gazing at the screen in anticipation of finally finally finally seeing themselves staring back. It happens to anyone that isn’t the default. Any film that is “too black” or “too female” or too anything that deviates. We should be remembering that a superhero film is still a superhero film, no matter the cast. They are superhero movies.

            They are movies about being heroes, about saving the world, whether that world believes in them or not. 

NaNoWriMo and Other Thoughts

It feels good to be blogging right now. I've been taking a break from vlogging due to school, and although I'm glad I've done so, it can be really hard to take a step back from creativity for the sake of sanity, especially when creativity helps keep me sane in the first place. 

I never really use this blog for anything except posting some stories and poems, or book-related stuff, but today I'm just going for it. I feel like I have a lot of random thoughts. 

First: 

NaNoWriMo is here! Glorious November, why must you be my busiest month? (That's an exaggeration. October was definitely my busiest month.) But for real, why can't NaNoWriMo be during the summer, when I have ample time without schoolwork to be writing and thinking and creating? I've heard though that the busier you are the more prolific you will actually be, because you're more prone to forcing yourself to manage time, and that in turn helps you be more productive. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise after all? 

I do have some advice for my fellow NaNos:

Now is not the time for second-guessing. 

I'm serious. No second-guessing, no backspace--nothing like that. This is a sprint. Not a careful curation of words. It's a burst, an outpouring, a vomit of words onto a page that gets you from idea to creation. Genesis to... maybe not quite apocalypse, but maybe halfway there. The hardest part of writing is getting that first draft out there. Everything after that is rewriting, fine-tuning, etc., which inevitably is challenging in its own way. But fine-tunes, rewrites, rearrangements, red pens, are all a labor of love. And there's time for that. For now, just write. 

Second: 

Lately I've been extra into history, literature, and folklore. As these are all intertwined in my major, this is no surprise. But a particular class I'm in right now has been eye-opening to many subject, and I'm feeling a renewed love affair with these subjects. 

Some of the fun/interesting/exciting content I've been ingesting these days: 

The Modern Lives of Medieval Monster Scholars

I'm obsessed with anything that connects old folklore to modern conversation. If we aren't finding those little commonalities, why study old literature and history in the first place? It's "interesting" isn't really a compelling argument for scholarship or academia. It's something more. And this article sums up that need pretty well. 

Unboxed

I've never been into podcasts, but the last couple of weeks I've suddenly found a great love for them. This one, Lore, in particular deals with cool historical phenomenons, such as creepy folklore and unsolved mysteries. Aaron Mahnke, the man in charge, does his research, and always makes compelling psychological arguments. 

Third: 

I've neglected "making" for the last little while. One of the ways I used to "make" was sewing. So, I sew again. I just made a cool polka-dot jumper dress, and this month I've got all the pieces cut out for a space-print dress. Stoked about that. Next year, I hope to tackle my sewing Everest: a suit. Specifically, a velvet woman's power suit. Google one and you'll fall in love. 

love, 

Sarai 

PS: 

Media Naranja (Prose Poem)

Media Naranja

In the beginning we were all just whole—we were sweet oranges, rolling around, content. But all it took was one divine decision—a split—and now we search every wrinkle of the earth for our Media Naranja. But if you were anything but an orange, that’d be okay too. If you were a tree, shocked to the core by a lightning strike, left smoldering and broken—or if you were one half of the grand canyon, yawning and yearning to be reunited. Or even if you were half of a grapefruit—I would just want to be a grapefruit too.

A Toast

A Toast

For all the times I baked a pie for you

Knowing you’d tilt your smile my direction—

For all the times I asked and you said soon,

And by avoiding you thought that you had won.

For all the times I slept against your breath

And hoped you’d stay to keep my feet warm.

For all the times I thought I’d fix that mess

Of spines and blinders without getting torn.

But even with the blinks and all the smiles

That never quite rang true, I know I tried—

But even with your heartless, heatless guile

It wasn’t ‘til you left I learned to cry.

            We both had orbits never quite our own—

            We caused the brick walls to crumble and drown. 

A Beautiful Poem

I found this lovely piece and I thought I'd share.